3 Things Your Divorce Attorney Doesn't Want You to Know
And why listening to them might cost you thousands.
Let me guess…
You finally got a meeting with your divorce attorney. You had your list of questions ready. You were hoping for strategy, clarity, maybe even a little peace of mind.
But instead? You walked out thinking, “That’s it?”
Hi there, I’m Rhonda Noordyk—Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, fierce advocate, and resident truth-teller when it comes to women’s divorce.
If you’re building your next chapter (not just surviving this one), welcome. This space is all about women’s divorce strategies that work—especially when your attorney doesn’t see the full picture.
In this article I’m sharing 3 critical financial moves most attorneys downplay—and why skipping them could mean leaving six figures (or more) on the table.
By the end, you’ll know what to question, what to prioritize—and how to protect your financial future even when your divorce lawyer says “nah, you don’t need that.”
Let’s dive in!
1. Your divorce attorney might tell you, “You don’t need a forensic accountant… your husband already hired one.”
Ohhhhh friend. Run.
Here’s a real-life example for you: One of my clients was told by her attorney not to hire a forensic accountant to trace separate property.
“It’s too expensive,” he said. “Besides, your husband already hired someone—a joint expert.”
Nope. 🙅♀️
It wasn’t joint. Her husband hired an expert. He was the client. That means the accountant wouldn't speak to her directly, wouldn’t answer her questions, and sure as heck wasn’t working in her best interest.
So she came to me.
I connected her with a vetted expert from my network. Yes, it cost her $25,000—but the outcome?
A $3 million divorce settlement. Up from the original $1 million her husband was offering.
Meanwhile, guess how much he paid his expert for a preliminary (not even final!) report? $29,000. 🤯
So when someone tells you that a forensic accountant isn’t worth the investment, I want you to ask:
“How expensive is it to not have clarity?”
DIVORCE TIPS FOR WOMEN
If your spouse controls the money and you’re being told to “just trust” a report you didn’t request, that’s a huge red flag. You need your own expert—one who answers to you.
2. Your divorce lawyer might say, “Mediation is too expensive. Let’s just go back and forth with emails.”
Cue the inbox anxiety spiral.
One of the most common tactics I see divorce attorneys use is to discourage real-time mediation…
...not because it doesn’t work.
But because it forces efficiency. And strategy. And actual decision-making.
Instead, what you get is proposal ping-pong. A document lands in your inbox with a vague: "Thoughts?"
No context. No insight. No support.
Just you, staring at numbers you don’t understand, wondering if you’re about to make a six-figure mistake.
Meanwhile, the clock ticks. The legal bills mount. And each party wastes weeks volleying emails back and forth while the case goes nowhere.
Now—here’s what happens when we don’t listen to that advice:
I recently worked with a client whose attorney initially discouraged mediation. “Too expensive,” he said. “Let’s just keep exchanging proposals.”
I pushed back. Hard.
We organized a session with the right mediator and the right experts in the (virtual) room.
No distractions. No email chains. Just focused, real-time negotiation.
She had been scheduled for two full days of back-and-forth.
We wrapped in six hours—with a stellar outcome.
Because when everyone’s in the same space, with aligned goals and clear facilitation, real progress happens. And faster than most attorneys want to admit.
DIVORCE TIPS FOR WOMEN
Mediation with the right structure doesn’t cost more—it saves you thousands in time, confusion, and legal fees. Don’t let someone else’s inefficiency become your burden.
3. “A business valuation isn’t necessary. It’s too pricey.”
...Said the same divorce attorney who’s billing $450/hour to email your ex’s lawyer about what time works for mediation. 🙄
Here’s the thing:
Business valuations can be pricey—especially if they’re not managed well.
I’ve seen women spend $18,000+ on valuation experts who delivered nothing. No report. No value. Just excuses and billable hours.
(And spoiler: That expert was NOT from my vetted divorce professional network—get access to that directory here!)
When you have the right team and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (that’s me!) to manage the process, here’s what happens:
👏 The data gets collected.
👏 The expert actually delivers.
👏 And you get the leverage you need to negotiate a fair and accurate divorce settlement.
Because if your ex owns a business—or you co-own one—you need real numbers. Not just a ballpark estimate. Not a napkin sketch. A real valuation.
Without it? You could be walking away from hundreds of thousands in future value.
DIVORCE TIPS FOR WOMEN
A business valuation isn’t “too expensive” if it gives you the leverage and clarity you need to protect your future and negotiate a fair divorce settlement.
So… what’s the real cost of doing nothing?
When your attorney tells you not to do something because it’s “too expensive,” I want you to pause and ask:
💭 Too expensive… for who?
💭 What’s the cost of not having that information?
💭 And who’s actually helping me see the full financial picture here?
Because here’s the truth: You can’t afford to play small with your divorce strategy.
Not when it affects your lifestyle, your kids’ future, and your long-term financial health.
Not when you’re navigating complex assets, manipulative tactics, or financial fog.
And definitely not when you’re trying to walk away with your head held high.
Your first step toward a fair divorce settlement.
Look, no one hands you a roadmap for this. But I’ve built one.
And today, I’m handing you the first step—my 30-minute divorce strategy mini-course, 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Financial Divorce Settlement.
The best part? It’s totally free.
You’ll learn:
How to avoid costly divorce attorney missteps that could impact your future.
How to protect your lifestyle and secure the resources you and your kids need and deserve.
How to build a foundation for your vibrant, joy-filled next chapter.
The 6-step process I use with every client to build financial clarity.
What your future self will thank you for doing right now.
💻 FREE MINI-COURSE: Get INSTANT access here!
Bottom line?
Your divorce attorney might mean well—but they’re not a financial strategist. And they’re not trauma-informed. Which means they may overlook or actively dismiss the exact strategies that could protect your future.
That’s where I come in.
As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® who’s helped hundreds of women secure strong, fair divorce settlements, I’m here to help you see what your attorney might not—and build a strategy that protects your legacy.
Stay tuned for more of my best divorce tips for women.
If today’s article gave you one piece of clarity, one “aha” moment, or even just a little sigh of relief—I’m so glad you’re here. You’re the reason I do this work.
And we’re just getting started. In my next article, I’m diving even deeper into smart, strategic divorce tips for women navigating high-conflict or high-stakes situations—so you can stay two steps ahead and fiercely in control.
Until then, stay sharp, stay steady, and never stop advocating for what’s yours. You’ve got this—and I’ve got your back!