I Want a Divorce, Now What? The First Step You Need to Take (Hint: It’s Not Calling a Divorce Attorney)

Advocacy

Feb 24

If you’ve decided to get a divorce, your first instinct might be to call a divorce attorney. But what if I told you that could be a costly mistake?

Before you sign retainer agreements or get locked into a legal battle, there’s something even more critical you need to do first—and skipping this step could cost you thousands in your divorce settlement.

Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and fierce advocate for women navigating divorce.

For over a decade, I’ve helped women take control of their finances, uncover hidden assets, and walk away from divorce with the confidence—and financial security—they deserve.

I know the system doesn’t always favor women. Too many women leave their divorce with less than they’re entitled to simply because they weren’t given the right tools to advocate for themselves.

That’s why I’m here—to disrupt the divorce industry and empower YOU to make smarter financial decisions from the very start.

If you’re new here, welcome! This is your space for expert financial tips, divorce strategies, and real talk about what it takes to advocate for yourself in this process.

If you’re navigating divorce—or even just thinking about it—I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss any of my tips on protecting your assets, choosing the right divorce lawyer, and securing your financial future.

Now, let’s talk about the biggest mistake women make when they decide to get divorced—and how you can avoid it.

Most people think the first step is hiring a divorce lawyer. But here’s the truth: hiring a lawyer before understanding your financial picture is like going into battle without a strategy.

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s a financial one. And if you don’t know exactly what you own, what you owe, and what’s at stake—you’re walking into negotiations at a disadvantage.

In this post, I’m breaking down the #1 step you need to take BEFORE calling a lawyer—one that could save you thousands and give you the upper hand in your divorce.

By the end, you’ll know:

✔️ Why skipping this step could cost you big time
✔️ How to protect yourself financially from day one
✔️ What to do RIGHT NOW to set yourself up for success

Trust me—you don’t want to go into this blindly. So stay with me, because this one step could change the entire course of your divorce. Let’s dive in.

Step 1: BEFORE you call a divorce attorney, do THIS.

Most women think the first step in divorce is hiring a lawyer—but this is actually backward.

Why? Because divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s a financial one.

If you don’t fully understand your financial picture before hiring a lawyer, you’re walking into negotiations at a massive disadvantage.

Here’s what you need to do FIRST:

👉 Sit down with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA) to assess your financial situation, assets, debts, and future goals.

Why your first call should be to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®:

This step is non-negotiable if you want to:

✅ Know exactly what you own and what you’re entitled to—so nothing gets left off the table.
✅ Understand how different settlement options will impact your future—so you don’t agree to a deal that leaves you struggling.
✅ Avoid financial mistakes that could cost you thousands—because what looks like a "win" in divorce can actually be a long-term burden.
✅ Walk into legal conversations prepared—so you don’t rely on your divorce attorney to "figure it out" for you.

Many women assume their attorney will handle the financial details. But the truth is, most divorce lawyers aren’t financial experts.

If you hire a lawyer first, you could end up:

❌ Making settlement decisions without fully understanding the financial impact.
❌ Agreeing to keep the house, only to realize later you can’t afford the upkeep.
❌ Walking away from hidden assets you didn’t know existed.
❌ Paying more than your fair share of marital debt.

Step 2: After you work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, then you’ll need to find the RIGHT divorce lawyer.

Once you’ve worked with a CDFA to map out your financial future, the next step is hiring an attorney who actually advocates for you.

Here’s the problem: not all divorce attorneys prioritize women’s financial well-being. Many attorneys push for quick settlements, pressure women to compromise too soon, or fail to challenge financial manipulation from an ex.

That’s why I use my C.I.A. Test: Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy for Women.

Every attorney and professional in my National Resource Directory has passed this rigorous vetting process, ensuring they have:

✔ Clear communication—They keep you informed, answer your questions, and don’t leave you in the dark.
✔ Integrity—They do what’s in your best interest, not just what’s easiest or quickest.
✔ Advocacy for Women—They understand the unique challenges women face in divorce and fight for your financial future.

With my directory at your fingertips, you don’t have to waste time searching for lawyers and other professionals who “might” be a good fit.

I’ve already done the work for you.

👉 Need a divorce lawyer who actually listens and fights for women? I’ve got you.
👉 Need a mediator to help keep things fair? They’re in there.
👉 Need a divorce coach or therapist to help you navigate the emotional toll? I’ll connect you.

You don’t need to figure this out alone. When you have the right professionals in your corner, you can move forward confidently, strategically, and with the full support you deserve.

Want to take a peek at my trusted divorce resource network? Get FREE access to my National Resource Directory at the link down below.

So, now you know—the first step in women’s divorce isn’t calling a lawyer. It’s understanding your finances and building a strategy that sets you up for success.

Hiring an attorney before you have a clear picture of what you own, what you owe, and what’s at stake could leave you vulnerable—and cost you thousands.

But now, you’re ahead of the game. You know that working with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® first puts YOU in control. Because let’s be honest: your ex already has a plan. His legal team is working to protect HIS interests. Who’s protecting yours?

That’s where I come in. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, I’ve put together a FREE resource to guide the way.

I invite you to take my FREE mini-course—6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Divorce Settlement—to walk you through exactly how to:

💡 Get clarity on your financial picture before negotiations even begin
💡 Spot red flags your ex (and his lawyer) don’t want you to catch
💡 Choose the right divorce attorney—one who will actually fight for YOU
💡 Advocate for the settlement you deserve—not just the one you’re offered

This is your first step to walking into your divorce prepared, confident, and financially secure.

👉 Get INSTANT access to my free mini-course right here!

Remember, every bold step you take today is shaping a stronger future. Keep going—you are capable, you are worthy, and you are NOT alone. Don’t forget to grab your free mini-course, and I’ll see you in the next post!

Rhonda Noordyk