Why 80% of Divorcing Women Feel the Legal System Is Biased Against Them
And what you can actually do about it.
If you’ve ever walked out of a divorce attorney's office clutching a crumpled tissue and thinking, “Wait… that’s it?”—you’re not alone.
According to a recent survey by the American Bar Association, 80% of divorcing women feel that the legal system is biased against them.
Eighty. Percent.
And honestly? They’re not wrong.
Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk—Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, fierce advocate for women, and founder of the BRIDGE™ Method. I help smart, capable women protect their lifestyle and legacy during divorce—especially when the system makes them feel anything but powerful.
Welcome to the space where we disrupt the status quo on women’s divorce. If you’re navigating complex finances, controlling exes, or just trying to figure out where to even begin, you’re in the right place. Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel so you never miss real talk and real solutions from someone who’s walked hundreds of women through this.
In this article, we’re breaking down the very real reasons why so many women feel dismissed, sidelined, or flat-out bulldozed by the legal system—and more importantly, what you can actually do about it.
You’ll walk away with the confidence to question what you’re being told, the clarity to know what’s missing, and the next step to reclaim control of your financial future.
Let’s dive in!
The legal system wasn’t built with divorcing women in mind.
Let’s be honest: Divorce law was created during a time when women weren’t even allowed to open their own bank accounts. So the fact that it doesn’t always serve women fairly? Not exactly shocking.
While the laws have changed on paper, the biases behind the scenes haven’t caught up. Here’s what that can look like in real life:
Your STBX (soon-to-be-ex) gets praised for showing up with a budget spreadsheet. You get side-eyed for "being emotional" when you ask how you're supposed to afford two mortgages on one income.
You’re told to just accept the proposed settlement—even though your gut is screaming that something doesn’t add up.
Your lawyer forwards you a PDF at 11:37 p.m. with zero context and says, “Let me know your thoughts.”
Sound familiar?
When we talk about systemic bias, we’re talking about a structure that wasn’t designed to handle the financial realities, emotional labor, and power imbalances that many women face in marriage and in divorce.
3 Reasons Divorcing Women Feel the System Is Stacked Against Them
Let’s unpack the biggest culprits:
1. A profound lack of advocacy from divorce attorneys
Most attorneys are trained in the legal process—not the human experience.
That means while they’re busy filing motions and calculating statutory guidelines, they’re not always thinking about how the financial decisions being made will affect your day-to-day life.
Like:
How you’ll afford private school tuition and groceries.
Whether your post-divorce budget includes therapy for your kids (or you).
How you’re supposed to make long-term financial decisions when you weren’t even allowed to see the login to your investment accounts for the past 10 years.
2. Information gaps leave divorcing women guessing
Women are often expected to keep up with legalese and financial projections overnight—while still managing carpool, career, and court deadlines.
You’re not financially illiterate. You’re overloaded and under-informed.
And when you don’t know what to ask (or how to interpret what you’re being told), it’s easy to feel paralyzed.
3. Pressure to be “amicable” in women’s divorce cases
How many times have you heard:
"Don’t rock the boat."
"Let’s just keep it friendly."
"It’s better for the kids if you settle quickly."
Listen, amicable is great—when it’s authentic.
But women are often shamed into compliance under the guise of being "reasonable," even when the proposed terms are inequitable or downright exploitative.
Related: 3 Things Your Divorce Attorney Doesn't Want You to Know
So… what can you actually do about it?
Feeling like the system is against you doesn’t mean you’re powerless. Here are three steps you can take today to reclaim your voice and your strategy:
1. Build the right team—not just the obvious one.
Most women assume the first call they need to make is to an attorney.
Wrong.
Your first call should be to a divorce advocate who understands the financial landscape and the emotional minefield. Someone who can help you:
Vet the right attorney for your needs
Understand the impact of your financial decisions before you sign anything
Translate legal jargon into plain English
💡 PRO TIP: The professionals in my National Resource Directory have been hand-vetted to meet the highest standards in communication, integrity, and advocacy for women. Get access to this free resource at the link below!
Related: Women’s Divorce and the Power of Self-Advocacy: How to Stand Up for Yourself in 3 Simple Steps
2. Start with a financial strategy from a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®—not a court date.
Legal deadlines can create a false sense of urgency.
Before you agree to anything, you need to:
Get crystal clear on what you own, what you owe, and what you need.
Run future-facing projections (not just look at last year’s tax return).
Understand what your lifestyle actually costs—so you can advocate from facts, not fear.
This is where most women leave money on the table—because they don’t feel confident enough to push back.
Let’s change that.
3. Take your first bold step. (Pssst—it’s FREE!)
If you're feeling shut out of the financial process… unsure what to ask in meetings… or worried you’re signing away more than you realize—this is your starting line.
🎓 Enroll in my free mini-course, 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Financial Divorce Settlement.
Inside, I’ll walk you through:
The full BRIDGE™ Method I use to help clients 10x their outcomes—with clarity, not chaos
The red flags that most women miss—like biased “neutral” professionals or business valuations that don’t add up
A real-life demo of what a 41% lifestyle drop actually looks like—and how to avoid it
The plug-and-play system for gathering documents so you can stop drowning in paper piles
The mindset shift that turns mediation from overwhelming to empowering
Case studies of women who pushed back—and walked away with six figures more
How to build your Divorce Power Team, starting with true advocates (not just titles)
If you’ve been waiting for a clear, practical, woman-first way to start advocating for yourself—this is it. 👇
🌟 Get instant access to the FREE mini-course here!
You’re not imagining it—the legal system was not built with your needs in mind.
But with the right team, the right strategy, and the right tools—including a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®—you can work around the system—and walk away with a plan that puts you back in control.
If this article gave you clarity, validation, or even just one “okay, I’m not crazy” moment, stay tuned. We’re just getting started.
There’s more empowering content coming your way every week—strategies, insights, and bold truths you won’t hear from your divorce attorney.
So don’t forget to subscribe to my channel, grab the free mini-course, and take one bold step forward today.
I’m Rhonda Noordyk—thanks for reading, and as always, I’m firmly in your corner. 💪