Estate Planning in Women's Divorce: 5 Crucial Questions to Ask Your Power of Attorney

Feb 10

Divorce isn’t just about separating assets—it’s about protecting your future. If you’re navigating divorce, estate planning might not be at the top of your list, but it should be. One of the most critical decisions you’ll make? Choosing the right Power of Attorney (POA) to advocate for you when you can’t advocate for yourself.

Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and fierce advocate for women navigating the financial storm of divorce. If you’re one of those women, welcome! I’m so glad you found this blog. And let me assure you—you’re in the right place.

On this platform, I share real-talk financial advice, expert strategies, and super practical tips to help you stand up for your worth in divorce. I share this same information in video form over on YouTube—so before we dive in, I invite you to subscribe to my channel and turn on notifications so you never miss an episode. Let’s make sure you have the right team in place to protect your future.

Now, let’s break it down—what exactly is a POA, and how do you choose the right one?

What is a Power of Attorney (POA)?

A Power of Attorney is a legal document that gives someone the authority to act on your behalf if you become incapacitated or are unable to make decisions for yourself. This could be for financial matters, medical decisions, or both.

During divorce, updating or creating a Power of Attorney is critical because:

You likely named your spouse as your POA—do you really want them making financial or medical decisions for you now?
Without a trusted POA, courts or family members could make decisions that don’t align with your wishes.
It ensures your children, assets, and health are protected according to YOUR terms.

Now that you know why it’s so important, let’s dive into the five key questions you need to ask before choosing your Power of Attorney.

Power of Attorney Question #1: Are you comfortable making tough decisions for me?

Being a POA is not just a title—it’s a serious responsibility. If something happens to you, this person will be making critical medical or financial decisions on your behalf.

👉 Ask yourself: Can they handle high-pressure situations? Will they be able to prioritize my best interests even in difficult circumstances?

You need someone who is decisive, level-headed, and willing to put your wishes first—even if it’s hard.

📌 Example: If you are in a medical crisis, will this person be able to respect your medical directives, even if it means making difficult end-of-life decisions?

POA Question #2: Are you available to act now and in the future?

Life is unpredictable, and you need a POA who is readily available when needed. Whether it’s signing documents, making financial moves, or making medical choices, this role requires availability and commitment.

👉 Ask yourself: Will they answer the phone in an emergency? Are they geographically close enough to handle in-person matters?

📌 Example: If you’re hospitalized, can they step in immediately to ensure your medical preferences are followed and your bills continue to be paid on time?

Power of Attorney Question #3: Will you follow my wishes—even if you disagree?

A great POA is someone who respects your autonomy. They may not always agree with your choices, but they must be willing to follow them without hesitation.

👉 Ask yourself: Can they set aside their personal opinions and carry out my wishes without inserting their own beliefs?

📌 Example: If you choose to leave a significant portion of your assets to your children instead of another family member, will your POA honor that, even if they have a different opinion?

POA Question #4: Are you comfortable handling disagreements on my behalf?

Tensions can rise in estate matters. Whether it’s family disputes over your finances or pushback from medical professionals, your POA must be strong enough to advocate for you.

👉 Ask yourself: Can they stand firm in difficult conversations? Will they be able to handle pushback from family members or professionals who might not agree with my decisions?

📌 Example: If a family member tries to contest your financial wishes, will your POA have the confidence to stand their ground and protect your choices?

Power of Attorney Question #5: Will you seek professional advice when needed?

No one expects your POA to be an expert in law, finance, or medicine—but they should be willing to ask for help. The best POAs are those who understand their limits and consult trusted professionals when necessary.

👉 Ask yourself: Will they reach out to attorneys, financial advisors, or doctors when they need clarity on my best course of action?

📌 Example: If there’s confusion about managing a trust or dividing assets, will your POA seek out the right financial and legal experts to make informed decisions?

What to Look for in a Financial Power of Attorney

When selecting a financial Power of Attorney, it’s important to choose someone with the right skills and mindset. Here are four essential qualities to look for in your financial POA:

A strong financial Power of Attorney should be:

✔️ Financially responsible – Can they manage money wisely?
✔️ Knowledgeable about finances – Do they understand investments, taxes, and financial planning?
✔️ Experienced working with professionals – Can they communicate with banks, accountants, and lawyers?
✔️ Organized and reliable – Will they keep track of deadlines and paperwork?

Your future, your legacy. Protect it with the right support.

Choosing the right Power of Attorney is just one piece of protecting your future. But let’s be real—navigating the legal and financial side of divorce can feel overwhelming.

You’ve spent years building a life, a family, and a future. Now, you need a team that understands your sacrifices, values your contributions, and fights for what’s rightfully yours.

But here’s the hard truth: Not every professional has your best interests at heart. Many women feel dismissed, unheard, or even pressured into financial decisions that don’t serve them.

That’s why I created the National Resource Directory—the only divorce professional network built exclusively by women, for women, and where every professional has passed my rigorous C.I.A. Test: Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy for Women.

This directory isn’t just a list of names—it’s a lifeline. Inside, you’ll find:

✔️ Top-rated divorce professionals—personally vetted and committed to fighting for women.
✔️ Experts who pass the C.I.A. Test—ensuring Communication, Integrity, and Advocacy in every interaction.
✔️ Attorneys, financial advisors, and mental health professionals who understand the complexities of divorce and estate planning.
✔️ A support system designed for YOU—so you can move forward with clarity, confidence, and the best team by your side.

Your power lies in the choices you make today. Your next step? Surround yourself with the right experts—the ones who won’t let you settle for less.

💌 Get INSTANT access to our National Resource Directory today—because your legacy is worth protecting. Sign up FREE right here!

And if you enjoyed this post, be sure to stay tuned for my next one, where I’ll teach you the very first step you need to take once you decide to get a divorce. Spoiler alert: it’s NOT hiring a lawyer…

Rhonda Noordyk