Divorce Attorney Secrets: The Hidden Asset Red Flags They're Missing in Your Case
Does this sound familiar?
You're wading through your divorce as best you can, staring at financial documents that make your head spin.
Your spouse's business has been funding private school tuition, luxury vacations, and the lifestyle you've built for years.
But the financial disclosure you just received from his attorney? It's claiming his company barely broke even last year.
Meanwhile, there's a new boat sitting in the driveway… 🤔
If that knot in your stomach is screaming that the numbers don't add up—you're right. Because 40% of people in committed relationships admit to keeping financial secrets from their partner. And when you're going through divorce? Those secrets can cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I'm Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and fierce advocate for women navigating complex divorces. For over a decade, I've helped women uncover hidden assets and walk away from divorce with what they actually deserve.
Welcome to Disrupting Divorce: Conversations for Women. If you're facing a complex divorce, dealing with a business owner spouse, or exhausted from being told to "trust the process," this show is for you.
In this article, I'm breaking down the sneaky tactics spouses use to hide assets—and the red flags your divorce attorney isn’t trained to spot. You'll learn the most common ways money disappears, the warning signs to watch for, and the exact steps to take if you suspect financial games.
By the end, you'll know what to look for, who to bring onto your team, and how to protect yourself before your settlement is written in stone.
Your attorney fights the legal battle. The financial battle? That requires different expertise.
Let's dive in.
The Most Common Hidden Asset Tactics
Financial deception in divorce is often quiet and strategic. Here are the top tactics:
1. The "Business Had a Bad Year" Defense
If your spouse owns a business, this is the golden ticket for asset hiding. Suddenly, the thriving company that funded your family's lifestyle for years is barely breaking even.
This tactic is especially common in high net worth divorce cases where business ownership is involved.
How they do it:
Delaying invoices or collections until after the divorce is finalized
Padding expenses with personal purchases disguised as "business costs"
Paying "bonuses" to employees (who will conveniently return the money later)
Creating fake vendor accounts or inflating contractor payments
Writing off personal expenses as business losses
What it looks like in real life: Your spouse's tax return shows $180,000 in income, but the company just "invested" $95,000 in new equipment, gave three employees unexpected raises, and somehow needs to defer his year-end distribution.
2. The Cryptocurrency Shell Game
Digital assets are the wild west of divorce finances. They're hard to trace, easy to move, and notoriously difficult to value.
Your ex might:
Transfer funds into cryptocurrency wallets you don't know exist
Use peer-to-peer platforms to avoid traditional banking trails
Store assets in "cold wallets" (offline storage devices)
Claim they "lost" access to accounts or forgot passwords
What it looks like in real life: You notice $12,000 in ATM withdrawals over six months. When you ask, your spouse says they're "investing in crypto" but can't provide any documentation. Or suddenly they're very interested in "decentralized finance" after years of mocking Bitcoin.
3. Cash Businesses and Under-the-Table Income
If your spouse works in an industry where cash is common—restaurants, construction, medical practices with cash-pay services, real estate—there's massive opportunity to underreport income.
How they hide it:
Accepting cash payments and not depositing them
Running personal expenses through the business
Paying themselves or family members as "consultants"
Creating fictitious debts to business partners (who will forgive them after divorce)
What it looks like in real life: Your household has always lived on $300K a year, but now your spouse claims they're only making $150K. Meanwhile, the mortgage, private school tuition, and country club dues are still getting paid somehow. 🤔
4. The "Gift to Family" Maneuver
Conveniently timed loans or gifts to family members are textbook asset hiding—a tactic that's particularly prevalent when divorcing a narcissist who's determined to maintain control.
Common tactics:
"Loaning" money to a parent, sibling, or business partner (with no documentation)
Paying off a family member's debt or mortgage
Purchasing assets in someone else's name
Overpaying on debts owed to relatives
What it looks like in real life: Your mother-in-law suddenly gets a $50,000 "loan" to renovate her kitchen. There's no promissory note, no repayment plan. Just a Venmo transfer three weeks before your spouse's attorney filed the divorce petition.
5. Lifestyle Creep Before Filing
If your spouse knows divorce is coming, they might strategically deplete marital assets before you even file.
Watch for:
Lavish purchases: new vehicles, jewelry, electronics, or investment properties
Expensive trips or experiences
Gambling losses (real or fabricated)
"Business investments" that conveniently tank
What it looks like in real life: Your spouse books a $30,000 "business trip" to Europe, buys a vintage car they've been eyeing for years, and suddenly needs to loan their brother money for a startup. All in the span of three months. All before mentioning divorce.
6. The Undervalued Asset Game
Your spouse doesn't have to hide assets if they can convince everyone those assets are worth less than they actually are.
This happens with:
Real estate: claiming a property needs major repairs or choosing a low appraisal
Business valuations: downplaying profitability or future earning potential
Collectibles and personal property: underreporting the value of art, antiques, wine collections, or vehicles
Stock options and deferred compensation: minimizing the value of unvested equity
What it looks like in real life: Your spouse hires an appraiser who values the rental property at $400K. You know the neighbor's identical house just sold for $575K. But when you question it, you're told you're "being difficult."
Related: Is He an Alpha Male... or Are You Divorcing a Narcissist in Disguise?
Red Flags When Divorcing a Narcissist: Financial Control as a Weapon
If you're divorcing a narcissist, hidden assets often go hand-in-hand with financial control and manipulation. Narcissistic spouses don't just hide money—they use financial secrecy as a tool to maintain power.
Watch for these additional warning signs:
🚩 Extreme defensiveness when you ask basic financial questions
🚩 Making you feel "stupid" or "paranoid" for wanting transparency
🚩 Sudden changes to account access or passwords
🚩 Gaslighting about spending or income ("We never had that much money")
🚩 Using money as leverage or punishment during separation
The financial deception isn't just about greed—it's about control. And recognizing that pattern is the first step toward breaking free from it.
RELATED:
📖 Is He an Alpha Male... or Are You Divorcing a Narcissist in Disguise?
📖 Financial Infidelity and Divorce: What to Do If Your Ex Has Been Hiding Money
What to Do If You Suspect Hidden Assets (Especially in a High Net Worth Divorce)
If any of the above is ringing alarm bells, here's what you need to know:
You can't afford to guess your way through this.
Gathering documents, demanding disclosure, building the right team, hiring a CDFA®—these are all critical steps. But knowing how to do them strategically? That's what separates women who get fair settlements from women who leave money on the table.
And here's the truth most divorce attorneys won't tell you: the financial battle is won or lost long before you ever sign a settlement.
That's why I created my FREE mini-course: 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Financial Divorce Settlement.
This isn't generic divorce advice. This is the exact BRIDGE™ Method I use with every private client—the same process that has moved $25 million into the hands of women who were told to settle for less.
Inside the mini-course, you'll learn:
💡How to uncover hidden money before your settlement is finalized
💡The financial red flags attorneys miss (and what to do about them)
💡How to build a Divorce Power Team that actually has your back
💡How to negotiate from a position of strength—not fear
💡The biggest mistakes women make during divorce (and how to avoid them)
This class is 100% free. And on top of that, it's judgment-free. It’s designed to meet you exactly where you are—whether you're just starting to ask questions or you're deep in negotiations and something feels off.
🎥 GET INSTANT ACCESS: 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Financial Divorce Settlement
Remember: questioning the numbers isn't being difficult. It's being smart. And every bold step you take today is shaping a stronger, more secure future for you and your family.
If this article resonated with you, I'd love for you to subscribe so you never miss the strategies, insights, and real talk that can change your outcome. And if you know another woman who needs to hear this, send her this article. We're stronger together.
Stay tuned for more empowering content—because your voice matters, your future matters, and I'm here to make sure you're heard every step of the way. Whether you're working with a divorce attorney or building your financial strategy, you don't have to navigate this alone.
I'm Rhonda Noordyk, and I'll see you next time!