Financial Infidelity and Divorce: What to Do If Your Ex Has Been Hiding Money
What if I told you that your ex could be hiding money right now—and you might not even know it?
That’s right. 40% of people in committed relationships admit to keeping financial secrets from their partner. And when it comes to women’s divorce, financial infidelity isn’t just betrayal—it’s a direct attack on your future.
If your ex has been hiding assets, racking up secret debt, or conveniently “losing” financial documents, this guide is your roadmap to protecting yourself and securing the settlement you deserve.
By the end of this article, you’ll know:
✔️ How to spot the signs of financial infidelity
✔️ Sneaky financial infidelity examples
✔️ What to do if you suspect hidden accounts or secret debt
✔️ The critical steps to take now to protect your financial future
Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and fierce advocate for women navigating the financial storm of divorce. For over a decade, I’ve helped women uncover hidden assets, fight for what’s rightfully theirs, and walk away from divorce financially empowered, not blindsided.
Because here’s the hard truth: the system doesn’t favor women. And if you’re not actively protecting yourself, you could leave your marriage with far less than you deserve.
If you’re going through a divorce—or even just THINKING about it—I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel for a steady stream of strategies on advocating for your financial future.
Alright, let’s get into it!
Women’s Divorce: What is financial infidelity?
Before we talk strategy, let’s define the problem. Financial infidelity happens when one partner hides, misuses, or manipulates financial assets without the other’s knowledge. This could include:
Secret bank accounts: Money tucked away where you weren’t meant to find it.
Undisclosed credit cards or loans: Debts that you could unknowingly be responsible for.
Unreported assets: Properties, investments, or business accounts not disclosed in divorce proceedings.
Large cash withdrawals or “gifts” to family: A common tactic to move money off the books before a settlement.
Underreporting income: Conveniently earning less right before divorce papers are filed.
Sound familiar? Let’s talk about the biggest red flags that your ex might be hiding money.
Financial Infidelity Examples: Signs your ex may be hiding money…
Financial infidelity isn’t always obvious—until it suddenly is. Here are some financial infidelity examples you should never ignore:
🚩 He becomes secretive about finances. If they used to be open about money but now avoid financial discussions, there’s a reason.
🚩 Bank statements and tax returns suddenly disappear. If documents have “gone missing” or you’re denied access, it’s time to investigate.
🚩 Unexplained withdrawals or cash transactions. Watch for frequent ATM withdrawals or large transfers to unknown accounts.
🚩 Fluctuating business income. If they’re self-employed and their reported income mysteriously drops before the divorce, that’s a red flag.
🚩 Excessive spending before separation. Lavish gifts, new investments, or sudden splurges can be a way to deplete assets before the divorce is finalized.
If any of these sound familiar, trust your gut. And don’t wait to take action.
Related: Divorce a Narcissist: 6 Things Your Ex is Hoping You Don't Know About Divorce Finances
Financial Infidelity and Divorce: Here’s what to do if you suspect hidden assets or secret debt.
Okay, so you’re suspicious. Now what?
👉 Step 1: Gather financial documentation—now.
Before accounts start disappearing, start collecting as much financial information as possible.
→ Bank statements: Checking, savings, and joint accounts.
→ Tax returns: At least the last three years.
→ Retirement & investment accounts: 401(k)s, IRAs, and brokerage statements.
→ Loan & credit card statements: Ensure you know what debt exists.
→ Business financials: If they own a business, request records.
Make copies of everything and store them somewhere safe.
👉 Step 2: Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA).
Here’s where most women make a critical mistake: they assume their divorce attorney will handle the financial side. But most lawyers are NOT financial experts. This is where a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® comes in.
A CDFA specializes in:
✔️ Developing a financial strategy that evaluates income and expenses
✔️ Analyzing tax returns for red flags
✔️ Evaluating settlement offers so you don’t get shortchanged
✔️ Creating a post-divorce financial plan so you don’t end up struggling later
If your ex has been financially dishonest, you need someone who knows exactly where to look.
👉 Step 3: Demand full financial disclosure.
You are legally entitled to full financial transparency during your divorce. This means requesting:
→ Financial affidavits: A sworn statement listing all assets and debts.
→ Subpoenas for bank and payroll records: Ensures nothing is conveniently left out.
→ Business valuations: If your ex owns a business, you need to know its full worth.
If they refuse to provide full disclosure, that’s a major red flag—and it’s time to bring in reinforcements.
Related: Coercive Control: Breaking Free From Financial Abuse in Marriage
Women’s Divorce: Here’s how to protect yourself moving forward.
Once you uncover financial deception, your next step is safeguarding your future. This means you should:
→ Open your own bank accounts: Get your finances separate ASAP.
→ Establish credit in your name: If everything was in your ex’s name, start building independent credit now.
→ Work with a financial expert: A CDFA will ensure your divorce settlement sets you up for long-term financial stability.
Your Next Step in Dealing with Financial Infidelity and Divorce
Listen—if your ex has been hiding money, you don’t have time to guess your way through this. You need a clear, strategic plan to protect yourself and fight for what’s rightfully yours.
That’s why I created my FREE mini-course, 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Divorce Settlement.
In this short class, you’ll learn:
💡 How to uncover hidden money before it’s too late
💡 How to negotiate from a position of power (instead of settling out of fear)
💡 How to build a divorce team that actually protects YOUR interests
🎯 Get instant access now—because the first step in protecting yourself is getting informed.
You’ve Got This
I know financial infidelity and divorce is overwhelming. But here’s what I want you to remember: this does NOT define your future. You are taking control. You are advocating for yourself. And you are NOT alone. Every bold step you take today is shaping a stronger, more secure future. And I’m here to help you every step of the way.