How to Prepare for Divorce: A Real-Life Warning for Women Headed into Mediation
What one woman’s financial fallout can teach you about hiring the right advocate—not just a divorce coach or planner.
Do you feel like you’re being “talked into” a divorce settlement that didn’t sit right? Maybe you’re feeling tempted to sign it anyway because the pressure is just too much.
Well, one of my clients did. And what she walked away with will make your stomach turn.
I’m Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and fierce advocate for women navigating complex, high-stakes divorces. I founded the BRIDGE™ Method to help women protect their lifestyle and legacy—especially when the system makes them feel anything but powerful.
If you’re wondering how to prepare for divorce in a way that actually protects your future, you’re in the right place. Welcome to the channel where we talk about what women’s divorce really looks like—no fluff, no sugar-coating. Just strategy, support, and tools that help you reclaim clarity and confidence.
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In this article, I’m walking you through a real-life client story—someone who walked into mediation without the right support and walked out with:
No liquid assets
Scraps in child support
Zero alimony
Meanwhile, her ex sat on millions.
We’ll unpack exactly what went wrong, how a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® could’ve changed the outcome, and why you need more than just a divorce planner in your corner.
By the end, you’ll understand how to prepare for divorce with clarity, the tools that help you avoid common pitfalls, and what to do if you’re dealing with a high-conflict or narcissistic ex.
Here’s how it played out.👇
Mediation Without a Map: What Happened in This Woman’s Divorce
She thought she was preparing for trial.
Her attorney said there wasn’t time to explore deeper financial questions.
But when she found a forensic accountant—who analyzed the data using AI-backed tools and handed over a detailed report—the attorney didn’t even look at it.
Then came the pivot: a surprise mediation, scheduled with just four days' notice.
There was no time to prepare, no coordination with her support team.
As her Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I should’ve been in that room with her. But the timeline—and the pressure—were designed to cut out support.
She was pushed to sign without the chance to review anything with me.
And when I finally saw the signed agreement, my stomach dropped.
Here’s what she walked away with:
❌ No access to liquid cash
❌ Minimal child support
❌ Zero alimony
❌ A promise of money from a house that hasn’t even been listed
❌ Ownership of stock she can’t touch for 10 years
Her ex? He walked away with immediate financial freedom—and millions in protected assets.
This isn’t just “unfair.” It’s legal abuse.
Even though she voiced concerns. Even though she asked questions. Even though she brought in a financial expert.
No one slowed down. No one listened.
And the system—once again—let her down.
Now she’s racking up credit card debt just to survive while waiting on assets tied up in technicalities and timelines no one explained.
This is why your support team matters. And why I’ll keep saying it from the rooftops: no woman should walk into mediation without a financial expert in her corner.
📖 RELATED: This kind of coercion often happens when subtle biases go unchecked in mediation, like assuming “she must be emotional” or that signing now keeps things “friendly.” That’s exactly what we're calling out in another blog post: Why 80% of Divorcing Women Feel the Legal System Is Biased Against Them
How to Prepare for Divorce with the Right Advocate in the Room
Here’s the truth: most women walk into mediation without the tools or support they need. That’s not a character flaw. It’s a system flaw.
You need more than just a divorce planner—you need someone in your corner who understands both the emotional stakes and the financial strategy.
That’s where a CDFA® comes in.
Before you walk into any meeting, especially with a high-conflict ex, you should know:
✅ What you own, what you owe, and what your lifestyle actually costs
✅ The long-term financial impact of what you’re being asked to sign
✅ How to vet “neutral” professionals who might not be so neutral
✅ What advocacy sounds like when the room starts pressuring you to move faster
📖 RELATED: Want a deep dive into what a CDFA® actually does during mediation? Check out our post on how a CDFA can help you advocate during mediation.
How to Win a Divorce with a Narcissist (Hint: Don’t Go In Alone)
If your ex thrives on control, manipulation, or always “winning,” mediation can become a war zone. The subtle digs. The polished charm in front of professionals. The way they frame you as the problem.
To win a divorce with a narcissist, you need:
🛡️A trauma-informed financial advocate who isn’t swayed by charm
🛡️Data that speaks louder than feelings (hello, projections)
🛡️A strategy for when to pause, when to push, and when to walk away
You can’t logic your way through their behavior. But you can protect yourself with facts, clarity, and a CDFA who won’t let you sign under pressure.
Skip the Panic: A Step-by-Step Divorce Planning Strategy That Works
Here’s what I recommend when you’re preparing for divorce:
Build your Divorce Power Team.
Start with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®)—not just a divorce planner. You need someone who can collaborate with your attorney, vet settlement offers, and help you advocate with data, not just emotion.
Get a clear financial picture.
Before you make another move, you need to know: What do you have? What do you need? What’s missing? A financial clarity session gives you the answers—and the confidence—to move forward.
Learn the exact steps hundreds of women have taken to 10x their financial outcome.
I created a free mini-course that introduces you to the BRIDGE™ Method—my signature framework used to help women facing high-conflict divorces. You’ll learn how to advocate strategically, avoid costly mistakes, and walk into every negotiation with confidence and clarity.
🎓 Ready to stop guessing and start leading your divorce with strategy? Get the FREE mini-course at the here!
Don’t Let Pressure Rewrite Your Future
If your chest tightens every time you think about the next step—you are not alone, and you are not behind. You just need a better way forward.
You just need a better strategy and the right people on your side.
Because women deserve better than signing blindly. You deserve a divorce process that makes sense, respects your questions, and protects your future.
So start here:
👉 Enroll in the free mini-course.
👉 Build your support team.
👉 And say no to pressure masquerading as progress.
Stay tuned for more empowering content on strategy, advocacy, and how to prepare for divorce with eyes wide open.
I’m Rhonda Noordyk—and I’m firmly in your corner. Talk to you soon!