Divorce During the Holidays: Letting Go of Perfection & Embracing Your Bold New Beginning
The holidays are supposed to feel magical, right? Full of joy, tradition, and togetherness? But when you’re navigating a divorce during the holidays, it can feel like a cruel joke. All the glitter and cheer might feel like a giant, fake Band-Aid trying (and failing) to conceal the pain and grief beneath.
And that’s exhausting.
Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and your fierce advocate through the complexities of divorce. Over the past decade, I’ve worked with countless women facing these same challenges, especially during the holidays. I know how overwhelming this season can feel when your energy is stretched thin and grief is amplified. My mission? To help you reclaim your power, protect your future, and survive this season with grace—and maybe even a little joy.
So, let’s pause. Let’s acknowledge what you’re feeling and give it the space it deserves. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to “make it magical” for everyone else. For this holiday season, survival is more than enough.
Grief doesn’t take a holiday.
Traditions can hurt.
Those holiday moments you once cherished might sting this year. The family movie night watching Home Alone or decorating cookies together could feel like salt in a wound. Maybe you’re grieving the loss of what was or the vision of what you thought your holidays would always be.
It’s okay if you can’t muster the energy to watch It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s okay if decorating the tree feels like an impossible task. Whatever you’re feeling—sadness, anger, numbness, or all of the above—it’s valid.
Instead of trying to force things, lean into what feels right for you.
Give yourself grace: It’s okay to skip traditions that feel too painful.
Be open to small moments of joy: If you find comfort in listening to holiday music or lighting a candle, let those small rituals be enough.
Create new traditions (or none at all): Maybe it’s a walk in the crisp winter air with your kids or a cozy movie night in your pajamas. Or maybe this year, you simply rest.
Going through a divorce during the holidays? Now is the perfect time to let go of unrealistic expectations.
The holidays are demanding even in the best of circumstances. When you’re already navigating the emotional and financial complexities of a Christmas divorce, those demands can feel insurmountable.
Here’s your reminder: You don’t owe anyone perfection.
Skip the party if you’re not up for it.
Order takeout for Christmas dinner.
Leave the tree in the box this year.
Opt for gift cards or simple presents instead of hours of shopping and wrapping.
Superwoman is a myth. The world might expect you to juggle holiday magic and life’s chaos effortlessly, but the truth is, your energy is finite. Spend it on what truly matters: showing up for yourself and your kids in the ways you can, not the ways you think you should.
Holidays in Divorce: How to lighten the load.
If the holidays feel overwhelming, these small adjustments can make a big difference:
Related: Divorcing a Narcissist: How to Flip the Script on Disney Dads and Create Joy for Your Kids
Divorce During the Holidays: Honor your reality and know that it’s temporary.
This holiday season might feel like survival mode—and that’s okay. It’s about getting through, not doing it all. Remember: this is just one holiday, one chapter of your story.
Next year, the holidays will look and feel different. You’ll start creating new memories. I know it seems impossible now, but the grief will soften, and a new kind of magic will begin to take shape.
“Just thinking of how blessed I am that I made it out on top with everyone’s help! Many thanks. You and everyone were right. I am ok, and better now—way better!”
Christmas Divorce Tip: Let this season be a catalyst for your bold, new beginning.
As you let go of perfection, you create space for something else—empowerment, clarity, and steps toward a brighter future.
This season, consider where your energy is going. Will you pour it into chasing an unattainable “perfect holiday”? Or will you invest it in building a foundation for yourself—a future rooted in financial confidence and independence?
Related: Women’s Divorce Win: How Jennifer Secured 50% More in Her Divorce Settlement
👉 Take the first step—advocate for yourself.
The best gift you can give yourself this season is empowerment. You have the strength to advocate for yourself and protect your future—and it starts with taking small, intentional steps.
If you’re unsure where to begin, I’ve got you covered. My FREE mini-course, 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Divorce Settlement, will guide you toward reclaiming control of your finances and your divorce process.
“Thank you so much! I am so glad I found you, and I wish I would have before getting into all this. You gave me the financial confidence of knowing what I was asking for and what I was giving up. God bless you, Rhonda! I will never forget you and I will recommend you for the rest of my life.”
Remember—the holidays don’t have to look perfect to be meaningful.
Divorce during the holidays is tough, but let this be a time to rewrite the narrative. Create space for yourself, honor your needs, and take bold steps toward the life you and your kids deserve.
You’re stronger than you think, and this chapter—though difficult—will pass. The future holds brighter holidays, filled with joy and magic created on your terms.
So, this year, ditch the pressure and focus on what truly matters: YOU. Let’s make this season the beginning of something bold, beautiful, and entirely yours. ✨