Divorce Checklist for Moms: What to Do Before You Leave (and What Can Wait)
Because preparing quietly doesn’t mean preparing passively.
If you’re reading this while hiding your phone under the covers or planning your grocery list around your next excuse to visit a lawyer, you’re not alone.
Preparing to leave a marriage—especially when kids, finances, or manipulation are involved—is both emotional and tactical. You’re juggling bills, bedtime routines, maybe a partner who’s watching your every move, and wondering what even goes on a divorce checklist.
Let’s get this part straight: You don’t need to have everything figured out. You don’t need to feel brave every second. And you definitely don’t need to wait until your life is in flames before taking your first step.
Hi, I’m Rhonda Noordyk—Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, women’s divorce advocate, and founder of the BRIDGE Method™. I’ve worked with hundreds of smart, capable women navigating high-stakes divorces—and this blog is here to offer divorce advice for women who have decided to leave (or are quietly getting ready.)
Because what you do before you leave can change everything about how your divorce settlement plays out later.
Let’s walk through it together.👇
Start Here: The divorce checklist that keeps you grounded.
If you’re preparing to leave, here’s what to focus on first:
Secure important documents. Birth certificates, passports, marriage licenses, bank statements, tax returns, titles, loan documents—scan or copy everything you can.
Open a new bank account (and email). Choose a secure place for communication and future financial planning. Use a password your partner can’t guess. Keep your financial moves quiet for now.
Gather financial clarity. What do you own? What do you owe? What’s coming in—and where is it going? Start building your personal financial picture—even if it feels fuzzy at first. You’re laying the groundwork for a strong divorce settlement.
Track patterns and behaviors. If there’s emotional manipulation, financial control, or gaslighting happening—keep a private log. Use tools like the Aimee Says app to document safely.
Build a circle you trust. That might include a therapist, a close friend, or a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® who can help you create a plan. You do not need to go public yet. But you do need support.
💡 Understanding the value a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® brings can be pivotal. Learn more about how a CDFA® can help ensure a fair financial outcome →
What Can Wait: The pressure to have it all figured out.
Let’s be honest: the internet is full of loud divorce advice for women who are ten steps ahead of where you are.
You don’t need to:
🚫 Announce your plans
🚫 Move out tomorrow
🚫 Understand every account
🚫 Hire every professional immediately
You’re still in the preparation phase. And that’s powerful.
The truth? Being intentional now sets you up for a better divorce settlement later. Rushed moves and reactionary decisions often cost women financially—and emotionally. So, take your time. Breathe. And know that everything will be okay.
Most divorce checklists skip the ONE thing that protects you the most.
Money affects everything in a divorce: housing, custody, timelines, emotional bandwidth.
And yet—most checklists focus on mindset over money.
But here’s the problem: You can be “empowered” all day long, but if you don’t know what your monthly expenses are or what’s in the retirement accounts—you can’t advocate for yourself.
A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (like me!) can help you:
Understand your full financial picture
Prepare for negotiations with confidence
Avoid the common pitfalls that cost women thousands
This isn’t about making you an accountant. It’s about equipping you to protect your lifestyle, your legacy, and your long-term stability.
For a real-life example of how financial clarity can lead to a more favorable divorce settlement, read about Kelly's journey here →
Bonus: The divorce advice for women that no one puts on a checklist…
Here’s an unfortunate truth: Your ex might accuse you of being “greedy.”
Someone in your circle might say, “Well, I just tried to keep things amicable.”
You might even second-guess yourself.
Here’s your reminder:
📌 Asking questions is not combative.
📌 Wanting clarity is not controlling.
📌 Preparing ahead is not manipulative.
It’s protective. Strategic. Smart.
And you’re allowed to be all three. 👏
Want more than a divorce checklist? Start here.
This divorce checklist is just the beginning. If you’re ready to move from quietly prepping to actively protecting your financial future—your next step is here:
🎓 Enroll in my free mini-course: 6 Proven Steps to Advocate for a Fair Financial Divorce Settlement
Inside, I’ll show you:
How to create clarity from chaos
What “fair” actually looks like in real life (not just legal theory)
The red flags to watch for—and how to respond strategically
Because the divorce process wasn’t built to prioritize women’s stability. But with the right strategy, the right plan, and the right support? You can protect everything that matters most.
👉 Get instant access to the FREE mini-course !
You’re not behind. You’re getting ready.
And that puts you miles ahead.
With clarity, intention, and a strategy-first divorce checklist in hand—you’re already building the future your ex didn’t think you’d fight for.
Let’s keep going. 💪
Thanks for watching! I’m Rhonda Noordyk, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®—and I’m firmly in your corner.